How to Forgive When It’s Hard

Forgiveness can be challenging. Sometimes, someone badly hurts us and we don’t want to talk to them or even see them, much less offer them forgiveness. How do you find the strength to forgive when you’re angry or upset? We offer some suggestions on how to alter your perspective and make forgiving someone a bit easier. Forgiveness is YoursYou may feel reluctant to forgive because it feels like you’re excusing or forgetting someone’s bad behavior, particularly if the other party does not seem apologetic for their actions. However, this isn’t the case at all. Consider the famous quote: “Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” It’s not about the other person, but rather about you and freeing yourself of the resentment that prevents you from moving forward. Consider how much energy you put into holding a grudge and how you could channel that elsewhere. Forgiveness is God’sJesus taught us that forgiveness and mercy are core components of loving one another in His likeness. It’s not only healthy for you, it’s also an incredibly important way to honor God. Forgiveness is IntentionalYou’ve probably heard the saying, “time heals all wounds,” but finding it in your heart to forgive another person isn’t something that just magically happens with time. While time does help, you must want to forgive. Sometimes this means reframing the way in which you view the person who has wronged you; maybe you haven’t honestly looked at the situation from their point of view. Sometimes this means choosing again and again to forgive the same person, such as a spouse or family member, knowing that you have likely hurt them in return.Give it Over to GodWhen you need to forgive someone, remember that you don’t have to make the effort alone. Let God help you release the anger and bitterness that holds you back. Accept the reality of the situation that caused your hurt, and acknowledge any positive growth that may have come from it. Remember that no person is perfect, but God loves us anyway.At our Polk County private schools, we foster an atmosphere of care and an environment of high expectations and effective discipline. To learn more about what makes us different, contact us at 407-246-4800.